They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We are two peas in an std pod
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
