I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
