What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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