I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
