i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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