matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
