I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Boobs speak an international language.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My feet surprised me
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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