I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
