Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
