I didn't shave. On purpose
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
