he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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