the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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