Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
