Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
