I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I did not marry a roomba.
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