I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
