is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
