By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
did i walk over a car last night?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
