this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The adults are the big ones right?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
