dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
