Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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