Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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