Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
