You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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