this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
