I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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