i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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