I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
