There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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