so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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