You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
