i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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