Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
