Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
