I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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