i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
