Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
