I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
