we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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