her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
