all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
