I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
