Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
