Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
