It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
