oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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