i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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