who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
