Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
