I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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