went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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