we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
COCAINE IS GR8
I deserve this hangover.
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