nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
