someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
